It's now five days since my beautiful boy left me, and not a day goes by without me dissolving into tears several times. Anything can set me off - the black cat in Steimatzky's bookshop that sits on a stool facing a wall of books, making her toilette and looking up, every now and then, to peruse the books, for all the world as if she's trying to decide which one to buy; the tabby cat in the car park outside my office that sits on the air-conditioning unit outside the window, having crossed a narrow pipe that does double-duty as a bridge; another tabby, with a fluffy tail like Possum's, who has somehow managed to get up onto the roof of the security guards' hut at the building's entrance and sits inside the casing of part of the air-conditioning unit there, nonchalantly making his toilette and turning away - just like Possum - when I try to take his photo; and most of all, coming home to an empty apartment, and knowing that when I start my pre-retirement leave in five days time, there'll be no little furbaby running to greet me when I return home from work, exhausted, for the last time.
I was overwhelmed, and touched, by the number of comments left by so many people and kitties - woofies, too - after Possum's passing. I don't know how to thank you all individually for your support and sympathy. Some of you, I already know. Many of you, I have never "met" - but I hope to rectify that over the next few weeks and that you will continue to visit this blog, so that when the time is right and Possum and Pixie and Minxie send me a new furbaby, or furbabies, the new kitty (or kitties) will have a ready-made "family".
I would like also to thank Ann of Zoolatry, for the beautiful memorial graphic she made.
When I've recovered a bit more, and can figure out how to do it, I shall make a separate Memorial page for all my furbabies and put this picture, and pictures of Pixie and Minxie, in a sidebar, as I've seen on other blogs.
In the meanwhile, all I can do is wait - and learn to live with the pain of loss.
Shimona
9 comments:
Take all the time you need, Shimona.
When Chumley died so unexpectedly of a blood clot one night, I lived on Gravol (brand of anti-nausea pills) for quite some weeks after.
When I had to let Annie go, I didn't need quite as much Gravol, because in my heart I knew it was going to end that way, but as with Chum, the grief was intense, involving my whole body, making myself ill with the sobbing.
It passes, it truly does, as you already know.
I don't believe grief ever "heals," but one of the bloggers wrote, a couple of years ago, I think, that we learn to adjust to the absence of our loved one.
As for a memorial page...Whenever it feels right, whether it's days or weeks or months or years from now. I did Chumley's 18 months after he passed; I couldn't do it before. And I did Annie's for the first anniversary of her death, last winter.
You know, even today I can't look at the last pics I took of Annie, it just breaks my heart. I can look at older pics, when she still was healthy and silly and my wild baby girl, but not the pics from the last weeks, or the afternoon before I took her in. I get sick just thinking about it, and it'll be two years in February.
All this just to illustrate that we really just muddle on and that the pain never really goes away.
Lots of hugs and universal Light and Blessings to you.
-Kim
I am so glad to see you here. And all of us who have lost a treasured family fur member know the intense pain and the grief. I agree with Fuzzy Tales in that we learn to adjust to their absence.
I will be back. Peace to your heart.
Great comments above and with which I heartily agree! Another blogging friend of mine sat shiva after her furbaby passed so suddenly recently. It helped with the grieving process. Time to grieve is so important xox
It is so hard to adjust to losing a furbaby. Even though they continue to live in our heart, they are so very missed!
One never knows how long it will take to go through the grief of losing a furbaby. I adopted two that needed a home only a couple weeks after the death of one of my cats. We know your furbabies are looking for the purrfect kitty(ies) for you.
We are purring and praying for you, Shimona. That you are grieving your dear, sweet Possum so much speaks volumes. We know you would not be doing so had you not loved him with all your heart.
Shimona, I'm finally catching up. I hope. That photo is precious of your sweet Possum. I feel for you in your loss and grief. It is so very difficult to lose a furbaby. They are just a part of us. And they are always in our hearts.
I came by to see how you are. I know you are still very very sad with Possum not there in purrson to greet you. But I firmly believe and trust that we will see the furbabies again. I am looking toward all of mine when I go to greet them by and by.
I understand a part of what you are feeling and I sympathize greatly. Luckily, I still have Spyro and Oja to keep me company. Thank you so much for your kind words about Herman. I am also glad that he went peacefully in his own home.
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