Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Unkindest Cut Of All

Hallo, Effurrybody!

Trixie here. I have been off my food lately and Mummy was terribly worried. On Sunday, She carted Me off to the v-e-t, who stole some of my blood and sent it away to be tested. 

On Monday, the nice lady v-e-t phoned Mummy to tell her my blood tests were all okay, there was nothing serious, but I might have worms. But I could have told her what the real problem was - Caspurr, who has become so big and boisterous, I can hardly beat him in a fight anymore. He climbs up to all sorts of places he shouldn't be - like the top of the bathroom door. Look!

He hasn't left Me a single place I can call my own, he eats My Food and, worst of all, he thinks that, as a Mancat, he should be the Boss - and he keeps jumping on Me and trying to do Things to Me that I do not want him to do!

So yesterday (Tuesday), Mummy took him to the vet and left him there for a few hours. And she moved all My Things into her bedroom and turned it into a boudoir. She says that it's for Us Girls only.

When Mummy brought Caspurr home, he was very sleepy and even when he was awake, he was much quieter than usual. Today, he's a bit more himself, but I could sense something different, I hissed at him and it seemed to scare him off. I haven't been able to do that for a long time.


Caspurr here, Effurryone.

I should jolly well think something was different. I can hardly bring myself to talk about it. 

You know how Good I have always been about going to the v-e-t. Well, yesterday, I saw Mummy had taken out My Travelling Carriage, so I just walked inside, all Unsuspecting and let her close the door on Me. And she called a taxi and took Me to the v-e-t. 

I figured - what's the worst that can happen? The v-e-t will stab Me with a big needle, she'll steal some of my blood for her tests, she'll flash a big light in my eyes (which really had been bothering Me) - the usual kind of thing.
But you know what happened, kitties?  She gave Me an Evil Drug to make Me fall asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep, kitties, but when I woke up - I saw what she had done. Oh, the humiliation of it! 

I don't know how to tell you!

She stole My Mancat Parts!!!!!

There, I said it!

What does she need Mancat Parts for? She's not a Cat. She isn't even a HuMan!

How am I ever going to be able to hold my tail erect again, kitties? What ladycat is going to want to look at Me now? 

I don't understand why Mummy would let her do this to Me? Am I being punished for something? I don't know what I did wrong. What did I do to deserve this?

And now Trixie thinks she can be the Alpha Kitty again! I just know she's gloating!


It's the Two of Us now! Mummy says, this evening is the start of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year and that we kitties must forgive each other and make up and be Furr-iends again. And We must each respect the Other's right to their Own Space.  So now, We are off to play together nicely with our Toys and then have a lovely Snooze, while Mummy makes a Huge Fruit Salad for the Festive Meal with her Human Family tonight.

Oh, and we wish all our Anipals, and their Human Mummies and Daddies a Very Happy New Year - Shana Tova!


Old Deutoronomy said...

I've heard that in the human species wives sometimes do that to their husbands. But they usually use psychological means - except in the case of Lorena Bobbitt.

Katie Isabella said...

Oh you dear ones...Mommy had to make sure that YOU were safe. You will be your old self minus a little aggression soon and believe me...THIS Ladycat thinks you are VERY handsome. I would go on a date with you any time! Just ask. XXOO and Trixie, you girls should stick together but also forgive. Caspurr didn't know he was being too rough.
Happy New Year, most favortite family of ours. <3

Fuzzy Tales said...

Hi Trixie. Angel Annie had that problem with Nicki when the human adopted him -- he thought was alpha and it led to no end of stress and grief. We hope it won't be that bad for you. It's good you have your girls-only boudoir, you need your own space away from him.

And Caspurr...Yeah, we're missing our mankitty bits too, but it was so long ago, and before we were adopted, that we don't even remember. You'll forget too. BTW, being neutered never slowed me (Nicki) down one bit. Even at almost 7, I'm still alpha cat, a wild man. :-)

Jenna and Sissy said...

That seems very evil, but we know it is best for you. You two kitties will enjoy playing together and be good siblings to each other :)

Pee ess: We still think you're a handsome man cat!

Mariodacat said...

Gasp - all your mancat parts at one time! he he - Mine were stolen a long time ago and I hardly remember it. You'll get used to it and the ladycats will still hang around you in Blogville anyway.

The Indulged Furries said...

Caspurr, you are a handsome mancat even without your baby-making parts. And maybe now you'll feel like being a little sweeter to the girls.

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

Oh Caspurr, I unnerstand so well. They just DO that to most of us. But it DOES mean you will probly live longer, so that good. ~ Marley

meowmeowmans said...

You will be okay, Caspurr, we promise. Our Moosey is still very manly, even though he had his mancat parts taken away.

L'Shana Tova, dear friends!