Wednesday, June 7, 2017

How We Purr-tected Mummy Yet Again

Hallo again, Effurrybuddies!

The Mighty Shimshon (Shimshi for short) aka The Little Purrince is back again!





Yes, yes, I know! It has been over a Month since Our Furriends heard from Us.
Mummy has been so busy with all sorts of trivia, like her Caterwauling Club and its annual Gala Concert, that the Really Impawtant Things in Life, such as Our Blog, have been shockingly neglected!

For example, you would think She would have pounced on the oppurr-tunity to tell effuryone how I, the Mighty Shimshon We saved her from an Evil, Vicious Cockroach the other day!

It was late evening, and Mummy was just about to go to bed when She saw us playing with something on the stairs. She came closer to see what We were getting up to and when She saw what it was, She gave a gasp and said "Oh, no, no, no, no, no". (That's what She always says when She sees a Creepy Crawly.)

Well, of course We told her not to worry, We would take care of it, but She went and got an old Telephone Directory and came and dropped it right on top of that Creepy Cockroach and then She jumped on the directory and squished it (the roach, not the directory - mol). Then, when She removed the directory and went to get something to clear up the squished corpse, Caspurr slipped in and gobbled it up.

That was so unfair, kitties, as it was Me, the Mighty Shimshi, who spotted it furrst!
(Well, it was Trixie, really, but She is a Girl Kitty and She doesn't like playing with roaches as much as Caspurr and I do.) Fortunately, he left a few scraps for Me. It was nice and crunchy.

I don't know why Mummy couldn't have trusted Us to deal with the roach. We would have dedded it sooner or later. She could have let Us play with it a little longer, don't you think?




Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Independence Day

Greetings, Anipals!

We apawlogise for the long wait between posts. Our Human gets a bit lazy sometimes (mol) and, as you know, She has all the Passwords to the Computer Machine Thingy - not to mention those Opposable Thumbs...

Anyway, today, We too are having a Lazy Day.

Today is Israel's Independence Day. That means it's Israel's Birthday! Israel is 69 years old!


We don't know how much that is, exactly, in relation to Cat Years but it seems that for a country, that's quite young.  Mummy says Israel was really born 3000 years ago and was Reborn 69 years ago. Anyway, that all seems to be mixed up with something called "Pawlitics", which We don't really concern Ourselves with. Well, not furry much, anyway.

The point is, however, that if Israel has a Birthday, that means there is a Purrfect Reason for a HUGE Birthday Pawty. We sat with Mummy and watched the International Bible Quiz for Jewish Youth on TV, and then We had lunch, and a Nap: 





- and now, We have decided to go and have a Picnic and Barbecue in the Enchanted Wood overlooking the Old City of Jerusalem, because the weather is furry pleasant today. After a few days of really hot weather, it is now back to normal weather for this time of year, about 23 or 24 degrees Celsius. Purrfect weather for a picnic.

So, if any of you should feel minded to join Us, We will be happy to see you at the Usual Place in about an hour (5 pm Israel time). Come one, come all, as they say (mol).

And as We say - Lehitra'ot (We'll be seeing you).

Sunday, April 16, 2017

More Reasons To Celebrate

Hallo, Effurrybuddies!


It is I, the Mighty Shimshon (Shimshi for short), aka The Little Purrince, Captain of the Guard and Master of the Queen's Mischiefs.


How are you all? I hope those of you who celebrate Easter, are enjoying your holiday, and that those of you who celebrate Pessach are all ready to celebrate the seventh day of the festival tomorrow and that your Humans brought you amazing and delightful kitty bags from the Seder feast.

And now, for yet ANOTHER reason to celebrate!
Tomorrow, April 17th, is My Birthday!

I, the Mighty Shimshon, will be Three Years Old tomorrow.


Can you believe that just three years ago, I was a tiny little kitten whose kitty mama had rejected him and for whom the future looked furry bleak, until Step-Grandma found Me and rescued Me and brought me to my Human Mummy?
Can you believe this tiny, miserable-looking creature with more than a passing resemblance to a Mousie, was Me?





Well, look at Me now, Anipals!







Anyway, as you all know, We neffur let a Reason for a Pawty slip by unnoticed and tomorrow, We will be having the Most Glorious Celebration - to which, it goes without saying, you are all invited - at 5 pm Israel time, in my beautiful fur-ever home. It also goes without saying that there will be oodles of beteavon-bons (what you call "noms"), plenty of niptinis, micecream, catmint juleps, toys, games - well, you all know how We like to pawty here, don't you?

So We will be expecting to see all Our Furriends tomorrow.

Till then - Chag Sameach!




Monday, April 10, 2017

Reasons to Celebrate

Hallo, Effurryone!



Caspurr here - the King of the Tigger-Tabbies.


I have something furry impawtant to say.



I want to remind you all that tomorrow, April 11th, is my 4th Gotcha Day.

Here is a picture of Me, when I was first gotcha-ed.









Wasn't I adorable? Mummy fell in love with Me at once. And I knew, right from the start, that We were made for each other!

I know my anipals would neffur fur-get, but your Humans might be so busy with pre-purrations for Pesach (which starts tonight), that it may (unlikely as that seems) have slipped their minds. Why, Mummy scarcely remembered her own birthday the day before yesterday! (I can't think why! How can you fur-get something you've been celebrating for about a zillion years?)

To get back to the impawtant subject of My Gotcha Day, We are going to celebrate that tonight, at the Seder feast and of course, you are all invited to celebrate with Us.

Oh, that reminds me! We have had quite an argument on the question of whether it is purr-missible to use catnip for Karpuss!

We have consulted a Kitty Rabbi and it seems there are contradictory opinions on that subject. We are going to be using it, of course, but if you belong to a commewnity which does not allow it, We will quite understand. More for Us (mol). But We will, of course, provide alternatives, such as grass.

Now, We must have a nice long nap before the Seder/Pawty.

Chag Sameach effurryone! See you all tonight!

Monday, April 3, 2017

The Trashcan Saga - Season Finale

Greetings, My Loyal Subjects!

It is I, Queen Trixie, here again.

I know you have all been eagerly awaiting the next episode in the continuing saga of Mummy's hopeless War with Us over the Sanctity of the Trash-can, and I am sorry to say it has not been going well (for Us, that is).

A few days after We posted Our Last Update on this Impawtant Matter, Mummy called in her Jack-of-all-Trades Handyman and they put their heads together to plot Our Undoing!



You would have thought Mummy had quite enough to do, what with her Bible Field Trip, and her concert last Saturday evening with her Caterwauling Club, not to mention her own Mewsical Recital the week before, but no! She still found time to plot against Us and spoil all our Fun.

The Handyman, whose name, by the way, is Arye (meaning "Lion") said We were a Gang of Criminals! Imagine that, kitties! You would expect more Sympathy from someone named after one of the Great Cats, wouldn't you?
Anyway, he was here for a couple of hours and, although We were shut away in the Bedroom, We could hear him hammering away and working on the door to the cupboard under the sink where the Safe Trash-can is kept.
When he had gone, Mummy let Us out and We saw that all the sticky tape and the chairs in front of the kitchen unit had been removed. So We thought to Ourselves: "Aha! Mummy has given up!"

We waited furry patiently for the next time Mummy went out, and We were extra specially good and angelic, so that She wouldn't suspect that We had not given up.

Look! See how good We were! We even snuggled up and snoozed together, knowing how happy that would make her, so that She would be thinking about that all the time She was out, instead of imagining We were up to any Mischief!



Of course, that all ended as soon as She left the house.  Before you could say "Catnip", We were gathered around the door of the cupboard in front of the sink, and Caspurr (being the strongest) went to work. He lay down on his back in front of the cupboard door and tugged and tugged away - to no avail. Shimshi pulled at the bottom drawer but, although he managed to get it open, the cupboard door remained closed.

I was not about to try, and risk breaking one of my beautiful long claws. If Caspurr and Shimshi couldn't get the door open with their combined efforts, I could not possibly be expected to do so. Like Remington Steele, I function best in an advisory capacity (mol).

When Mummy came home, She saw that the cupboard was still shut and She even opened it, to make sure We had not been at the Trash-can and closed the door afterwards, to fool her. And that's when We saw what She had done!


Kitties! Arye had put magnets at the bottom of the door!
Not furry big magnets, it is true, and I think - no, I am pawsitive - that if that had been all, given time, We would have managed to deal with them. But that was not all, kitties!
Arye had also fixed a kind of twisty screw at the top of the door, to hold it shut. It's quite stiff and not so easy to turn, even for Mummy with her Opposable Thumbs. Obviously We haven't a Chance!

So there you have it, Anipals. We are having to admit Defeat - for the time being, at least. We are going to have to find somewhere else to break into, as some of Our Furriends have suggested.

I do seem to remember Mummy bragging to telling Step-Grandma how her furry furrst kitty, Minxie, who now lives at the Bridge, used to open the refrigerator door.


Hmmmm.


I wonder.....

Monday, March 20, 2017

The Evil Demon Kitties Strike Back!

Hallo, Effurrybody!

Queen Trixie here again.


Well, as you all know by now, We have learned that by working as a Team, it is much easier to outwit Mummy than if We each look out only for Ourselves. And so, as We explained in our last post, We managed to circumvent Mummy's anti-kitty lock and get into the trash-can which She keeps in the cupboard under the kitchen sink.

But Mummy, who can be as determined as a Hungry Kitty when She puts Her mind to it, stuck sellotape on the drawers of the kitchen unit and then, when She saw how easily We managed to tear that away, replaced it with electrical insulating tape, to make it harder to open the drawers and, with them, the door of the cupboard.

As you can imagine, We weren't going to let Her get away with that. So, one night last week, Shimshi went to work on the sticky tape with his sharp little claws, and Caspurr, who is furry strong, tugged and tugged at the cupboard door and hey, presto! We were back in business.

But, for some reason, Mummy - who was not supposed to be prowling around like a Cat at 2:30 in the morning - woke up and hearing strange noises in the kitchen, She came to investigate and caught Us in the Act! She took away one chicken bone (which We had licked clean) and threw it in the trash can and shut all the drawers which were open and was just about to go back to bed when She heard pathetic little mewing sounds from the Food Drawer. So She removed all the sticky tape She had put back on the drawer and opened it - and who jumped out?

Shimshi!

Yes! That silly Baby Mancat had got himself shut in!

Mummy screamed at all of Us and said She ought to rename Us. Not the J-Cats, but the Evil Demon Cats! 
Kitties, that was a furry hurtful thing to say, wasn't it? I mean, look at Us! How can anyone think We are Demon Kitties? See how angelic We are!




Anyway, Mummy shut all the drawers and cupboards again and replaced the sticky tape and closed the (useless) lock and even put a row of chairs all along the front of the kitchen unit. Then She went back to bed and found that We had generously left the remains of the SECOND chicken bone as a purr-esent for her, on the bed. So She had to get up again to throw away the bone. This time, She was too tired even to scream at Us - but when She got to the kitchen, She saw that Caspurr was again trying to open the cupboard door. That's when She lost it completely and shut Caspurr up in the guestroom for the remainder of the night. She has never done that before - but this time, remembering Our New, Enhanced Capabilities, She
 even wedged a chair under the door handle so he couldn't open it! Then She went back to bed and locked the bedroom door, and I heard her crying.

The next morning, She let Caspurr out and fed Us all. Caspurr gobbled all his noms down and then came and fought with Shimshi for what was left of Mine.

And then he was sick all over the kitchen counter.

I guess Mummy was too exhausted to be angry by then, or maybe She was sorry for the hurtful things She had said to Us, because She just cleaned up without a word, except to say to Caspurr that that is what happens when you gobble your food.

And that's the State-of-Affairs for now. Sticky tape and chairs in front of the kitchen unit, which Mummy has to remove effurry time She needs to make so much as a cup of coffee and a sandwich. Obviously, things can't continue this way.
I know Mummy is planning something - some new tactic in this war She cannot possibly win.

But what?

Stay tuned for developments...





Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Welcome to Caspurr's Birthday Pawty

Greetings, Effurryone!

Sorry we're a bit late. It took longer than expected to put up the marquee, but here We are now, at the Enchanted Forest, overlooking the Old City of Jerusalem, making the best of the lovely, spring-like weather. 18 degrees Celsius, officially - but it feels warmer.  If it starts to get chilly, after dark, We can all proceed by Transporter Tunnel back to Our Appawtment, from which Mummy has promised to make herself scarce (mol)...But We don't think that will be necessary, because We have a big campfire and We can sit round it, while sipping our niptinis and catmint juleps.

Has effuryone got enough to drink, so We can raise a toast to the Birthday Boy?
If anyone would like to lend a paw at the bar, that would help things along.


Is there enough nip? We can always send out for more, if necessary.
And for those who prefurr, the valerian is over there, to the right of the bar.

Fancy Feasties of all flavours are on the centre table. Fish to the right and meat to the left. And don't worry - in the store room at the back, there's plenty more, if this runs out.


The micecream and other desserts - as well as the Birthday Cake - are right over here, on the table to the left.

Now, if you are all here and ready, it is time to reveal the secret of how We circumvented Mummy's pathetic little anti-child anti-cat lock and got at the trashcan under the sink.

It was Trixie who figured it out. You have to hand paw it to her, that is One Smart Cat!







In order to open the lock, Mummy has to press simultaneously (isn't that a lovely, big word? It means "at the same time") on two buttons, one on top of the right hand lock and one on the bottom of the right hand lock. Of course, for that, you need opposable thumbs.



But look carefully at where Mummy had placed the lock. 

As you can see, one side is on the door of the cupboard, and the other side is on a drawer.
Trixie realised that if We tug at the bottom of the cupboard door hard enough, We can pull open the cupboard door just a fraction - not enough to get inside. But if We all work together, We can pull much harder - enough that the force exerted pulls open the drawer to which the other half of the lock is attached. And when both the cupboard door and the drawer are pulled open, there is enough of a gap for One of Us to get inside, rummage in the trashcan and bring out anything worth eating.
And that's what We did.

And when We had finished, We pushed the cupboard door shut again, and Mummy never suspected that WE had managed to open it! In fact, She didn't know what to think! She was COMPLETELY BAFFLED!

And that's the story of How We Outwitted Mummy (yet again).

So - who needs opposable thumbs?