Monday, March 20, 2017

The Evil Demon Kitties Strike Back!

Hallo, Effurrybody!

Queen Trixie here again.


Well, as you all know by now, We have learned that by working as a Team, it is much easier to outwit Mummy than if We each look out only for Ourselves. And so, as We explained in our last post, We managed to circumvent Mummy's anti-kitty lock and get into the trash-can which She keeps in the cupboard under the kitchen sink.

But Mummy, who can be as determined as a Hungry Kitty when She puts Her mind to it, stuck sellotape on the drawers of the kitchen unit and then, when She saw how easily We managed to tear that away, replaced it with electrical insulating tape, to make it harder to open the drawers and, with them, the door of the cupboard.

As you can imagine, We weren't going to let Her get away with that. So, one night last week, Shimshi went to work on the sticky tape with his sharp little claws, and Caspurr, who is furry strong, tugged and tugged at the cupboard door and hey, presto! We were back in business.

But, for some reason, Mummy - who was not supposed to be prowling around like a Cat at 2:30 in the morning - woke up and hearing strange noises in the kitchen, She came to investigate and caught Us in the Act! She took away one chicken bone (which We had licked clean) and threw it in the trash can and shut all the drawers which were open and was just about to go back to bed when She heard pathetic little mewing sounds from the Food Drawer. So She removed all the sticky tape She had put back on the drawer and opened it - and who jumped out?

Shimshi!

Yes! That silly Baby Mancat had got himself shut in!

Mummy screamed at all of Us and said She ought to rename Us. Not the J-Cats, but the Evil Demon Cats! 
Kitties, that was a furry hurtful thing to say, wasn't it? I mean, look at Us! How can anyone think We are Demon Kitties? See how angelic We are!




Anyway, Mummy shut all the drawers and cupboards again and replaced the sticky tape and closed the (useless) lock and even put a row of chairs all along the front of the kitchen unit. Then She went back to bed and found that We had generously left the remains of the SECOND chicken bone as a purr-esent for her, on the bed. So She had to get up again to throw away the bone. This time, She was too tired even to scream at Us - but when She got to the kitchen, She saw that Caspurr was again trying to open the cupboard door. That's when She lost it completely and shut Caspurr up in the guestroom for the remainder of the night. She has never done that before - but this time, remembering Our New, Enhanced Capabilities, She
 even wedged a chair under the door handle so he couldn't open it! Then She went back to bed and locked the bedroom door, and I heard her crying.

The next morning, She let Caspurr out and fed Us all. Caspurr gobbled all his noms down and then came and fought with Shimshi for what was left of Mine.

And then he was sick all over the kitchen counter.

I guess Mummy was too exhausted to be angry by then, or maybe She was sorry for the hurtful things She had said to Us, because She just cleaned up without a word, except to say to Caspurr that that is what happens when you gobble your food.

And that's the State-of-Affairs for now. Sticky tape and chairs in front of the kitchen unit, which Mummy has to remove effurry time She needs to make so much as a cup of coffee and a sandwich. Obviously, things can't continue this way.
I know Mummy is planning something - some new tactic in this war She cannot possibly win.

But what?

Stay tuned for developments...





Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Welcome to Caspurr's Birthday Pawty

Greetings, Effurryone!

Sorry we're a bit late. It took longer than expected to put up the marquee, but here We are now, at the Enchanted Forest, overlooking the Old City of Jerusalem, making the best of the lovely, spring-like weather. 18 degrees Celsius, officially - but it feels warmer.  If it starts to get chilly, after dark, We can all proceed by Transporter Tunnel back to Our Appawtment, from which Mummy has promised to make herself scarce (mol)...But We don't think that will be necessary, because We have a big campfire and We can sit round it, while sipping our niptinis and catmint juleps.

Has effuryone got enough to drink, so We can raise a toast to the Birthday Boy?
If anyone would like to lend a paw at the bar, that would help things along.


Is there enough nip? We can always send out for more, if necessary.
And for those who prefurr, the valerian is over there, to the right of the bar.

Fancy Feasties of all flavours are on the centre table. Fish to the right and meat to the left. And don't worry - in the store room at the back, there's plenty more, if this runs out.


The micecream and other desserts - as well as the Birthday Cake - are right over here, on the table to the left.

Now, if you are all here and ready, it is time to reveal the secret of how We circumvented Mummy's pathetic little anti-child anti-cat lock and got at the trashcan under the sink.

It was Trixie who figured it out. You have to hand paw it to her, that is One Smart Cat!







In order to open the lock, Mummy has to press simultaneously (isn't that a lovely, big word? It means "at the same time") on two buttons, one on top of the right hand lock and one on the bottom of the right hand lock. Of course, for that, you need opposable thumbs.



But look carefully at where Mummy had placed the lock. 

As you can see, one side is on the door of the cupboard, and the other side is on a drawer.
Trixie realised that if We tug at the bottom of the cupboard door hard enough, We can pull open the cupboard door just a fraction - not enough to get inside. But if We all work together, We can pull much harder - enough that the force exerted pulls open the drawer to which the other half of the lock is attached. And when both the cupboard door and the drawer are pulled open, there is enough of a gap for One of Us to get inside, rummage in the trashcan and bring out anything worth eating.
And that's what We did.

And when We had finished, We pushed the cupboard door shut again, and Mummy never suspected that WE had managed to open it! In fact, She didn't know what to think! She was COMPLETELY BAFFLED!

And that's the story of How We Outwitted Mummy (yet again).

So - who needs opposable thumbs?







Sunday, March 5, 2017

Birthday Coming Up

Hallo, Effuryone!

It is I, Feline-Marshall Caspurr the Courageous, Commander-in-Chief of the Impurrial Guard, King of the Tigger-Tabbies.






I want to remind you all that the day after tomorrow, Tuesday March 7th, is my birthday. My FOURTH birthday. Naturally, that means a pawty. A big one. A pawty with all my favourite noms. Countless cans of Fancy Feasty in all my favourite flavours - ocean whitefish and tuna, chick-hen, liver, salmon, seafood - you name it, We've got it!

And niptinis. And catmint juleps. And micecream.

And, best of all - YOU are all invited. 5 pm Israel time.
At a secret destination. RSVP - and the co-ordinates will be sent to your transportation devices.

Now, I know you are all waiting to hear how We outwitted Mummy, as we mentioned last week.
Aren't you?




Well, it's like this. Mummy got upset that We were getting into the trashcan under the kitchen sink and rummaging about in it. She claimed We were "making a mess". So She went and bought one of those locks they sell in Mothercare stores and put in on the door of the cupboard under the sink where She keeps the trashcan.




Mummy was sure that by means of this In-furr-nal Device, She had solved the "problem".
And for a while, She had.
Try as We might, We could not open the door.
I tried.
Trixie tried.
And you can bet your Nine Lives Shimshi tried.

No luck.

But We were not discouraged.
We put Our heads together.

And a couple of weeks ago, We came up with the answer.
And the furry next day, Mummy was furr-labbergasted to find that the chicken bones She had put in the trashcan were all over the kitchen floor.
She thought maybe She had fur-gotten to lock the cupboard door, or that maybe She hadn't locked it propurr-ly.
But when She went to check it, She found that the door was still shut and the lock was intact!

Poor Mummy! She was completely baffled (mol).

How did We do it?

For the answer to that, you will have to attend My Birthday Pawty on Tuesday, when all will be revealed...


Friday, February 24, 2017

Just Around the Corner

Greetings, My Loyal Subjects.

Queen Trixie here again, just for a short update.
This week has been mostly bright and sunny, with lots and lots of sun-puddles, sufficient for each of Us to have their Own Spot. Mummy says Spring may be just around the corner. We don't know which corner She means, though. There are lots of corners in Our Home and We have looked around all of them - but We didn't find anything.

Mummy was very happy to see that her Sick Lemons on the front porch are blooming. Mummy loves Sick Lemons. They are purr-actically her favourite flowers.
She certainly saw plenty of them on her field trip the week before last. Speaking of which, She wrote all about that trip on her own bloggie and you can read all about it here.

Kitties, We have been purr-fecting our Methods of Outwitting Mummy, but you will have to wait till after Shabbat before We tell you all about Our Cleverness. You wouldn't believe how ingenious We have been (mol). And Mummy will never guess how we did it.

What is "It", you are asking yourselves.

Aha. 


Wait and see (hehehe).

Shabbat Shalom to you all. Have a lovely weekend.









Monday, February 13, 2017

Escape from Al-CAT-raz

Greetings, Effurryone!

It is I, Caspurr, King of the Tigger Tabbies. I want to tell you how We have managed to Get the Better of Mummy.

As you know, whenever She wants to cook or eat, or when the Cleaning Lady is here, She shuts Us up in the Bedroom.  Most of the time, when that happens, We just Snooze, either in the Wardrobe or in whatever sunpuddles may be available (and they have been pretty scarce lately). In fact, sometimes they are so small, We have actually shared the same sunpuddle, all three of Us, although Trixie usually prefurrs to do without Sunshine, rather than curl up with Us Boys.




On Furr-iday, however, We decided that We were tired of being impurrisoned whenever She wants Us out of the Way, so We put our heads together and came up with a plan to break out. 

We had come to the understanding that the key to opening the Bedroom Door (no pun intended - MOL) was by purr-essing on the door-handle. Being the biggest and the strongest, that task fell to Me (with a little help from Shimshi). So he and I took it in turns to jump up and purr-ess it and when the door finally opened a crack, Trixie made a dash for Freedom, followed by Shimshi and Yours Truly.

Mummy, who was busy pre-purring the Shabbat meal, was so surprised. At furrst, she couldn't understand how We had got out. She thought maybe She hadn't closed the Bedroom Door propurrly. She chased after Us and returned Us, one by one, to the Bedroom. It was only when She had shut Us inside again, and heard Us jumping over and over again at the door, that She realised what had happened.

To Our Delight - and Mummy's Dismay - it appears that the Bedroom Door can only be locked from the Inside.
But We took pity on Mummy and remained inside till She had finished cooking - and, as a reward, She gave Us our Lunch a little earlier than usual.

What do YOU do when your Humans shut you away in one of the rooms?

Thursday, February 2, 2017

The Evil Among Us

Kitties! Woofies! Anipals! (and Human Friends too)!

We are so ANGRY!
No! ANGER doesn't begin to describe the RAGE We feel in our hearts. But We are also Heartbroken at what We have just read on Fursbook!

(Warning! This article contains graphic, heartbreaking images!)

A Rottweiler woofie was found in Detroit with his nose and ears cut off and with many other injuries. It is clear that some Human, or Humans, (if they can even be described as such) did this deliberately to the poor woofie. A $35,000 reward has been offered for anyone offering information leading to the arrest and conviction of those responsible.

Mummy 
was so angry, She practically had smoke coming out of her ears. She says if She could get her hands on the !@#$%^&*+!@#$ scumbags who did this, She would give them a taste of their Own Medicine. She would cut their +@##$^&* off!!!

How could anyone do such a thing to a defenceless animal? If only We could get our claws into them, We would scratch their eyes out! 

Evil, E-v-i-l-, EVIL devils!!! 

Friday, January 27, 2017

Messi Mischiefs

Hallo, Effurrybuddies!

It's Me here again, the Mighty Shimshon (aka Shimshi), also known as The Little Purrince!






How are you all? Are you having horrid, cold weather with water falling out of the sky, like We are? In fact, earlier this meouwning, there were tiny, hard, cold, icy pellets falling down as well! We don't like that - but at least, We don't have to go out in it. We have plenty of Hard Work to do here indoors, without getting our beautiful furs wet.

And speaking of Hard Work - I want you to know that I have been taking My Duties as Master of the Queen's Mischiefs furry, furry seriously. In fact, I often use the Transporter Tunnel to visit and consult with other Mischief-Makers, for a furr-uitful exchange of ideas.

And I must say,  Uncle Messi the Woofie has some really good ones. I tell you, that Woofie must have Feline Genes in him somewhere (mol)! How else could he have come up with something like This?



Grandpa and Step-Grandma went out to lunch with some friends and Messi got bored, or angry at being left alone at home, so he shredded effurrything that had been left on the coffee table - letters, bills and a parcel of books Grandpa and Step-Grandma's friends had brought them!

I tell you, anipals - that Woofie is an Inspurration (mol).

Now I am must go and snoopervise while Mummy prepurrs Her, Our, The Shabbat Meal. Have a great and Mischief-filled weekend, all of you.

Shabbat Shalom from All of Us.