Sunday, July 31, 2016

The Complaints and Calamities of Caspurr

Hallo there, Effurryone!


Well, it happened! I was so hoping She would fur-get, but She didn't. You see, the Evil V-E-T sends her  postcards effurry year to remind her, and sure enough, the other day She said it was MY turn to go for my annual "shots" (I HATE that word, don't you?) and She pushed Me into the Kitty Carrier and hauled Me off to The Torture Chamber   The Evil, Stabby Place Dr. Einat.

As you can imagine, I was Most Displeased. I sang the Song Of My People, furry, furry loudly, all the way there - so loudly, in fact, that the Taxi Driver asked anxiously what was the matter with me. And My Human told him that it was NOTHING, that She was just taking Me for My Annual Checkup and Shots.

NOTHING? N O T H I N G???

It may be Nothing to Her, being shut up in a Cage and taken to A Place You Do Not Want To Be, but I can assure you, it was not Nothing to ME!

I could have done some Real Damage to the Evil V-E-T and her Assistant, with My Magnificent Talons, had I chosen to do so.






But fortunately for them, when all is said and done, I neffur fur-get that I am a GENTLEMANCAT, so I kept my claws sheathed and let them Have Their Wicked Way With Me.

But Worse was yet to come.
I was weighed and found not wanting. In fact, I had gained 600 grams since last year.
Kitties - I weigh 8.5 kilos! And they told Mummy that if she loves Me, She will put Me on a strict diet!  (DIET. That's another word I hate!)

After that, Mummy cut My Meals down to TWICE a day, instead of THREE TIMES!
I complained about that furry vocally and started eating paper and bits of plastic bags to make myself vomit all over the place. Yesterday, Mummy decided to go back to three meals a day, only much smaller.

We'll just see about that (heheheh).





Yours Aggrievedly,

Caspurr, King of the Tigger-Tabbies

11 comments:

Kate said...

My Hazel feels just like you do. She had to go on a D-I-E-T about 3 years ago. She lost enough to get down to a nice chubby cat but must be careful about eating. That doesn't make her happy. She likes free standing food so she can eat constantly or at least every 10 minutes. Good luck to you!

Deziz World said...

Oh Caspurr, we's so sorry you had to be subjected to such horro. We's not sure how much you eigh in pounds as mommy never learned da new math conversions. Da US decided not to use them. Anyways, We don't think you need a diet at all. We think you look just fine. Good luck with those teeny tiny meals. Befur ya' starve, find your way to our place. We'll share and mommy likes a little meat on her kitties. You will have to earn your keep, but most of da time, it's really fun.


Luv ya'

Dezi and Raena

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

I think you look purrfect at the weight you are now Caspurr. I am curious about the yearly shots required in your country. Where we live, rabies it the only shot by law the cats have to have and I don't think there is rabies in Jerusalem.

The Island Cats said...

Oh no, Caspurr. Not the evil D word. What do those vets know anyway??

meowmeowmans said...

Caspurr, this is such sad news. A diet? Oh, we don't like that word at all!

Austin Towers said...

What a dreadful experience, Caspurr!!! I should approach NUCAT about some kind of intervention for mummy!! Except NUCAT are all on a very long holiday it seems at the moment! I shall Marshall the comrades and get back to you with a plan of action ........... after a nap!! ;) xxx

Seville at Nerissa's Life said...

You get those postcards, too? Must be an international conspiracy, for sure. MOUSES!

Sounds like you weigh 'bout what my brother Andy weighs. Peep #1 has even started scattering his treats about the kitchen floor, makin' him work for every single one. Unfortunately for the peep, there's no kitchen big enough to slow down the feline vacuum otherwise known as Anderson. MOUSES!

Purrs,
Seville

The J-Cats said...

Mummy doesn't do it because it is required by law but just to be on the safe side, even though We are indoor kitties and are unlikely to come into contact with other anipals except at the evil, stabby place. As for rabies, the problem is that this can be carried by any mammals. Bats, for example. And also, we can't be sure about what's going on in the neighbouring countries, where animal care is maybe not so good.
Also, if Mummy ever wanted to put us in a pet pension while she took a vacation (she'd better not even THINK about it, but let's say - just in case), then no reputable pet hotel would take Us if our shots weren't up to date.

Katie Isabella said...

I love how you signed off Caspurr. Indeed that is a perfect way when we have been taken to that evil horror chamber!

Your mummy is right. MY mummy is holding off getting my shot that I have not had for 4 years until I have to. One thing another evil vet said was IF Admiral ever got out and say...bit someone I would have proof she wasn't rabid etc. That was a valid point. I need to tell my mum she may just go ahead and get it over with for me this Fall. Caspurr you look devastatingly handsome!!!
XXXOOO

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

Oh those VET postcards are evil. But somehow, even when we hide them, TBT knows when it is time annyway. AARRRGGGHHHH!

Maggie from Stillness at Cherith said...

Nasty reminders! We are glad to hear you kicked up a fuss! Can't just let those humans get away with things.
Purrs,
the kitty brats.